I found an interesting search result for my blog yesterday — “highly intelligent women” and “turned down“. 🙂 Personal lives are also public domain…hmmm and that too a Google search???… amazing advancement in technology! In fact people ask you on social networking sites: “Do you have a boyfriend (boy friend)/girlfriend (girl friend)?” As if they will reveal all 😉 🙂 … Anyway, at least women are considered “intelligent” these days. I was amused that the Google search result should lead to my blog. I have never written about turned down intelligent women or intelligent women who were turned down 🙂 (two different things). Well, in that case even men are “turned down” — let’s not get into the gender war. When one is “turned down” it hurts equally if not more.
In the same breath, I was listening to an interesting radio program yesterday night called Love Guru — the concept being, a RJ solves your love related issues and stuff like that. There was this girl who was desperately in love with the RJ himself and asked him over phone to solve her problem. It was kindda funny but still the guy handled the situation well by explaining that one should not be in virtual love and one should not be in love with a voice and all that…
There are so many such inspirations for this blog article. Well, here are my top ten reasons (in descending/ ascending order) for being in love (I don’t call it falling as that means you have problems rising back to normalcy 😉 ) …. And for God’s sake those who know me personally please don’t draw your conclusions that I might be in love …it’s a clarification from the beginning: – this is based on the experiences of my close friends 🙂 .
Ten Reasons to Know When you are in Love
- Teenage love is Ok — the notion of “blind love” and all that, but at a matured level when one loves it is more of a “frequency match” and if your frequency matches then there’s no love better than yours.
- We often “have” to be in love because our neighbors, friends and everyone around us are in love or are getting married. It’s alright to be inspired by romantic outbursts of people, but it would be better to think yourself in love when you are under no one’s influence and when you directly feel inclined towards that person.
- Loneliness or break-ups can drive you crazy and inspire you to “fall” headlong into a new relationship which was not ideal after all. That often is the most obvious reason for someone to get into a relationship. But Hold on! Relax! It happens to all of us…very difficult to handle stuff like that on your own, but let’s try to meet the man/woman of our dreams after we have given ourselves the time to heal.
- The generation of our parents was less complex than ours. Let’s accept it! They were married earlier than most of us. If you expect a person to have no past…than there’s something not normal in you. One has to come in terms with our partners’ lives too and with the fact that they might have had some past as well, let’s respect that. If you do, then…awesome!
- We have careers and colleagues with whom we spend a lot of time. Often, we expect our partner to understand this obligation and also spare and spend time with our friends without getting uncomfortable or bored. It has often happened in my friends’ lives when their partners just say “they are your friends/colleagues. What will I do there? Will get bored…” . And even if they go with you they are absolutely uncomfortable, so much so that you get strangled between them and your friends. But if your partner is comfortable too , then also do not over do it. Many relationships have been in trouble when there are too many friends in between. One of the roots of affairs is with your hubby’s/wife’s/ partner’s colleagues or friends.
- It’s not that one has to always “just be in love” — I mean just petting and professing your love day-night is boring : ( . You should have common interests — like discussing politics, gardening, writing, painting, etc. (anything under the sun) or at least learn to appreciate each others’ interests if they are very opposite to your own.
- Actually this should have come in the top of my priority list — Communication. A very significant aspect for a relationship (my personal opinion) is that you should be able to communicate. One of my friends’ is so enamored with his wife and her enchanting personality that he goes awestruck in front of her. And she misunderstands it as “dumbness”. Talk! For many problems of a relationship gets solved when you are actually talking.
- Candle light dinner, bouquets, poems are alright, but one would consider someone actually loving if she/he likes her/him when she/he is cleaning up the garbage of her/his room, and have all dust and dirt on her/his hair and face.
- No intermediaries.., there should be no “in-between” you and the object of your love, else things are messier than you may imagine. Plus, people who imagine that they can “fix-up” someone with someone or people who go for a “fixed-up” date, kindly be careful of limiting intervention in a budding relationship. Any lasting relationship has mutual trust and directness as its basis. If you don’t have, you are not in love.
- There is no written rule to tell you when and where you are and how you should be in love. There are no “econometric-models” (this was a comment on one of my posts on mail) for life, can say that emphatically and will keep repeating it forever. There are no self-help books to teach you to be in love and probably that’s the reason it’s called “Love”.
I have not written anything of which you are not aware of or which will not be given by a self-help therapy book. But, if you analyze the content of self-help books too, they also don’t write anything which we are not aware of either. The problem is life is too complex to be solved by self-helps. The best way is to formulate the rules of your own game and play it the way you like it to be…at the end of the day all of us are individuals.
But, if any of these points are your own experience of being in love…then congratulations!